slipping away

Every day I feel like my dreams of going to Paris is never going to happen. I log in to Facebook and I check out other people’s travel maps and I get fascinated how these people and some of my friends find the money, energy and the time to go to all the places that they’ve been to.
It’s not like I am envious, I just want to go to France. It’s been my dream since I was a little girl. I took French for a few years, hoping that I would know some of the language when I got there. The older I get, the harder it becomes to remember the words and phrases!
My husband would always say we have responsibilities, 4 kids, etc, etc. I look at what’s going on with the world and economy and I am disappointed that the ‘responsible’ ones seems to have finished last. We did not gain anything from the bailout money. In fact, I’m sure we’ll be paying more taxes next year. Yeah, tax season just ended and I have so much to look forward to.
I just feel like I never got the chance to live it up! We’re always thinking about mortgages, college fund, paying the bills, etc. It’s just too depressing.
Along with the big white wedding and losing weight, perhaps it’s time to bury this other dream of mine because it’ll never happen.

Some closure

The death of Sandra Cantu shook our small town. I was up all night thinking about that little girl. Her face haunted me and I was frightened last night, mainly because the perpetrator was still out there. I didn’t sleep a wink, and I tried to sleep with the lights on but my husband was very upset because the light was bothering him.

I finally turned off the T.V around midnight and I just missed the news about Melissa’s arrest. My husband and I had a terrible feeling about her, especially when she decided to share the fact that she lost her luggage. It seemed like it was a preemptive gesture at that point.

I’m not sure if I will sleep at all tonight. The first lesson they tried to get out there about this tragedy was to teach our kids about strangers. Well, Melissa Huckaby was no stranger to Sandra. She was Sandra’s next door neighbor, the mother of her good friend. I guess it just leads me to the conclusion that we cannot trust anyone at this point. We have to worry about not just our neighbors but also carpools, sport coaches and pretty much anyone who has any kind of interaction with our children.

It’s such a shame that we have to live in this kind of world.

Heartbroken

This afternoon, it became evident that they found the little girl that’s been missing from Tracy. I live about 7 miles away from where they found the suitcase and I recall going pass there last summer.
My husband and I along with our kids decided to go out for a drive. We didn’t know where we were heading. We just decided to drive and we ended in that area. I remember because Becchetti Road is a no-through road and we had to turn around.
I cannot imagine what her family, especially her mother is going through right now. My family and I always hoped that they will find Sandra Cantu alive. When my mother called this afternoon to let me know that they had found her, I was devastated.
My son is a few years younger but he weighs around the same weight as Sandra and almost the same height.  My son is such a happy child and cares mostly about drawing pictures and playing outside. I just can’t imagine anyone would want to harm such a sweet and innocent child.

Whoever did this heinous crime is full of evil. I know that they will find you and justice will prevail.

Accomplished

After I dropped off my kids today, I decided to clean up the clutter that’s been accumulating in my pantry. My husband was harping on about it for weeks and I meant to do it last week but I was inundated with drop-offs and pick-ups. Once I completed this task, I decided to take some of the trash out and started weeding.

I didn’t realize how much weeds we had in the backyard so I put on my rain boots and found my husband’s gardening gloves. I decided to remove all the weeds and not just one or two that I’ve passed by on my way to the garbage can.
I started at 10 am and I just got back in and it’s already noon. I couldn’t believe it took me two hours to remove all the weeds. I also skimmed the pool and took the weed spray to make sure those weeds don’t grow back.
While I was weeding, my grandmother came by and laughed at me. I told her that my back was hurting and she remarked “life is hard isn’t it?”. I always knew that life in general was hard but I never had the notion that someone else would be pulling my weeds. In fact, I am thrilled to be doing it since spring is just around the corner and I am so looking forward to planting some flowers.
Anyway, I feel very much accomplished. Now I am starving and I still need to clean the rest of my house.

Bah! Happy Monday …

Personal Style

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but to be quite honest about it, it drives me bonkers when someone emulates my personal sense of style. My personal style is not something so outrageous or so out there, in fact I normally shop from very common stores like J.Crew, Club Monaco, etc.  I do agree that anyone has the right to shop anywhere — but to buy the exact same things day in and day out can drive someone a little nuts. 

My style is a little blah right now, with the amount of weight I’ve put on since the birth of my fourth child it’s been quite tough to really look good on anything. I always believed that you can buy the finest clothing but if you don’t wear it well, then you are just wasting your money. 

I must say that I’ve been fortunate to acquire certain luxuries in life before I decided to quit my job. I  hope to pass them down to my two girls someday. However, right now they are mine to enjoy!

Here’s a list of a few of my favorite things:

Handbag : I would say my Valentino (the color is liver). I love this baby, I bought it online and I was quite shocked how much I loved it when I opened the box. The second choice would be the Gucci Grace  hobo bag (mostly because it took awhile to track it down).

Most coveted handbag: Hermes Birkin of course!

Favorite brand of handbag: It’s a tossed up between Gucci or Prada (I try to stay away from bags with the logo’s imprinted).

Everyday handbag: Anya Hindmarch Cooper bag in Navy Blue (just because I’ve been wearing jeans lately).

Impulsive bag purchase: A Fendi hobo bag with logo’s all around it. (yuck)

Favorite pair of shoes: Right now my peeptoe Miu Miu’s. Yes, it’s winter and I should be sporting some really cool boots but for some reason I just can’t seem to find any boots that fits well. Besides, I don’t think I have enough confidence to pull it off. So it’s flats, flats for me! Another good choice if you are in love with flat shoes, I highly recommend Lanvin, Prada driver shoes or Tod’s.

Favorite watch: Cartier Tank mid size

Most coveted watch: Chanel J12 in white (it’s so last season but I still want it!), Rolex Oyster (midsize), Cartier Roadster or an IWC

Everyday watch:  Hugo Boss stainless steel watch (it looks like a Rolex but you don’t have to worry about scratching it!)

Wallets: I love colorful wallets. I have a couple of boring ones but definitely useful. I have a LV french purse that is ready to be replaced. I wouldn’t mind an Insolite in red or green or a LV Vernis.

‘Tis the Season!

It’s that season again. I probably detest this season the most. Don’t get me wrong, I love giving gifts to my family. However, I can’t stand the stress and that human factor of “wanting and coveting for everything and anything”. This is even more stressful when you are as materialistic as I am!

My husband is a good gift giver but he definitely drives me bonkers with questions about what I want for Christmas. So I always make a list, trust me I never really get any of these because he’ll always get something else. It’s always fun to make one though because a girl can always dream …

Last years loot consists of a Leica V-Lux camera (that I still use but haven’t quite figure out how to use properly), a Burberry scarf, an LV Iphone case and a Jonathan Adler vase.

So here’s my list this year, it’s still needing one more to make it to ten. Still thinking of that and I’ll just add it when I figure it out!

Update: I’ve been thinking about my tenth choice and I know, I need a new wallet. I saw one of these LV Insolite wallets in Palo Alto and I thought the size was just perfect! I was close to asking for world peace but then again the materialistic side of me got the best of me!

Not another diamond …

The Birkin

Diamond earrings always work!

Chanel J12 in white

Something for the house!

Stainless Steel mid-size

Entry Door

St. Louis GM

LV Insolite Wallet

The biggest size would do nicely!

Holidays

Now that Halloween is over I am faced with more daunting tasks. I hate the fact that the holidays are all on me. I just completed our Christmas cards, ordered our Thanksgiving food and is in the process of sending out Thanksgiving cards. I’ve also just finished up listing down what my kids could possibly want for Christmas. Thanksgiving is only a couple of weeks away and so Christmas is just around the corner. 

It could be a depressing Christmas, given the state of the economy and now being a one income family. Everything is slashed in half (gift giving wise). I don’t really care much about that, in fact I don’t care if I don’t get anything as long as my loved ones get what they want for this Christmas. I don’t think you need to spoil them but I don’t think they should be affected by what’s going on out there. After all, Christmas is for kids.

Next year, I am looking forward to getting my website up and running. I started a cupcake business and would like to go live by February at least. I also need to solidify some of the small details for my sister’s wedding in June.

Lots and lots to do unfortunately between now and Christmas. It’s weird how quickly Christmas comes around. Maybe this year, I’ll start shopping a little earlier. I say that every year probably and never really get around to it. 

I have a lot to be thankful though so I am not complaining. I have healthy children, a great husband and a home. If that’s all I could have for Christmas then I am o-k with that!

PO’d

My youngest child who is 2 has strong attachments to one of my pillows. I guess it’s her pillow now since she drags that thing everywhere. Today, I had to switch my bedding to something warmer given that Fall is here. Her reaction was shocking when I came around to switch the pillowcase. 

She started screaming and throwing a tantrum. She kept saying that wasn’t her pillow now. I had to explain to her that I had to wash the bedding and that I was putting on a new set of cases. She was having none of it! She threw the pillow on the floor and screamed “that’s not my pillow!”. She even came to visit her father crying and telling him that I took her pillow. 

I had to take her aside and calm her down a bit. She started paying less attention to the pillow and started playing – so I thought everything was fine. A few minutes ago she kept calling for me and she asked me if the washing was done. That just put a smile on my face. For a 2-year old, it’s amazing that she hasn’t forgotten and I’m probably off to the store to buy another pillow for me. I guess that pillow is now hers, the way she wants it exactly. It’s funny and amusing now but I’m sure I’ll be annoyed at some point. I can’t imagine her being 7 and still dragging that thing around.

This is new to me. The only attachments my kids ever had were their little stubby fingers. My oldest child AB sucked her fingers until she was three. My 2 boys didn’t really sucked their thumbs or had any attachments to anything. A cousin of mine still has his Snoopy pillow at the age of 36. I remember him being 18 and going to Vegas dragging that filthy pillow around. He wouldn’t even let his mother wash the case. 

I’m not sure if this is something to worry about.

Meme

I know that memes are old but what can I say, I’ve always been behind the times. My Flickr friend Lucy started one and I thought they are kind of fun. Since I have a strong affinity with the alphabet, I thought I should do something different. Here it goes …

A – Age: 35

B – Band listening to right now: watching the news actually

C – Career future: homemaker

D – Dad’s name: Elmo (yes, like Tickle Me Elmo)

E – Easiest person to talk to: my first born, AB

F – Favorite song: I like Viva La Vida by Coldplay, my all time favorite is probably Green Day’s Time of your Life

G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: bears

H – Hometown: Belmore South, Australia

I – Instruments: none, trying to learn the guitar

J – Job: homemaker

K – Kids: yes, 4! 2 girls/2 boys AB-13, CD-10, EF-6, GH-2 (alphabetical!)

L – Longest car ride ever: Las Vegas to Tracy

M – Mom’s name: Audrey

N – Number of people you dislike: a few (I would say 3-4)

P – Phobia[s]: height, reptiles

Q – Quote: “I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.” — Josh Billings

R – Reason to smile: my kids

S – Song you sang last: Air Supply, can’t remember the song but it was from a movie this weekend

T – Time you wake up: 6:30

U – Unknown fact about me: I can watch Jeopardy all day?

V – Vegetable you hate: ampalaya (bitter melon)

W – Worst habit: picking my feet

X – X-rays you’ve had: too many to keep tabs of

Y – Yummy food: I eat anything, my favorite would be- cakes!

Z – Zodiac sign: Aquarius

lots and lots to tell …

It’s been awhile since I wrote anything here. Perhaps now that I am no longer employed, I could very well spend more time blogging … or not! Yes, you heard it here first. I am one of the 8.8 million people that are currently unemployed. 

In a way it’s what I’ve been dreaming of for quite some time. Work had just reached a point where my body gave up first and decided to shut down. I had some eye-opening episodes and eventually thought I was not going to see my 2 year-olds first day in kindergarten. 

So here I am, taking it one day at a time. The experience certainly made me asked, “What’s the rush?”. I don’t have all the answers but the culmination of the last few months made me more aware of what’s truly important. 

I’m going to excuse myself for a while and retire my Superwoman cape (just for a little while). In this day and age, I’ve heard from mostly everyone that we (women) can do it all. I truly believe that we are capable of doing anything and everything at the same time. Sadly, with my experience it’s pretty apparent that we can’t do it all well or at least — I can’t.

Perhaps we can do everything we want to do over time, but I feel like we’re cheating ourselves if we continue to say that we can have a glorious career and an awesome family life at the same time. One always suffer to a certain degree. 

My 2 cents! Oh yeah, it’s my blog anyway