I’ve been in denial about my weight for so long. I’ll be the first person to tell you that I am stubborn as anything and would often refuse to listen to anyone’s advice or 2 cents. Coming from a Filipino heritage it is common to hear such insensitive comments like “you’re gaining weight”, “you look fatter than the last time I saw you”, etc, etc. I’ve heard this all too often; mostly from the older generation. I usually just ignore them and sometimes I even vow to gain more weight so they have something to talk about the next time I see them. It’s immature. I know; but I’ve always thought that such attitude towards someone’s weight was just plain mean.
So here I am at the weight I am and it’s killing me. Not because I am obese but because I get so depressed about it. I always ate what I wanted to eat and with the kind of schedule I was on when I was working and raising my family – I really thought that was sufficient enough to balance out my food intake and physical activity. Now that I am no longer working; our family’s daily schedule is on overdrive and so again, I thought that’s enough to counter all the food I was ingesting. Obviously not when I have ballooned to the weight I am right now.
After several trips to the ER the last few months I was determined to do something about it once and for all. I had to find a way to motivate myself; to get on the treadmill and stay there! I’ve only started late last week but I’ve never been so focus about anything as I am right now. Honestly, the last time I was ever this motivated was back in 1991 when I saved every penny I had to buy myself a ticket to Manila. I was a senior in high school and worked at McDonald’s after school and managed to saved $3,000 AU. I was so proud of myself when I went on that trip knowing that I paid for the entire trip.
My breakfast of oatmeal was not inspiring, that whole 220 calories was not worth it! But that’s done and over with and I am mostly looking forward to lunch! So here I am, counting every calorie and every step I take on that treadmill. It’s hard work but it needs to get done. I’m sure I’ll come up with some brilliant excuses on why I need to get off that machine but I know that in the end – I know better.
Tags: breakfast, calories, choices, denial, diet, dinner, exercise, Filipino, food, life, lunch, motivated, stubborn, treadmill
